Brenda Shilling

For Brenda Shilling, there was no greater love than the love of her Lord and the love she held for family. A true optimist, Brenda lived by faith and was lovingly accepting of all. Brenda often placed the needs of others before her own without expecting anything in return. She possessed the gift of hospitality, and with her kind and ever-caring nature, it was a blessing to know and love her.

The 1950s marked a quieter, more stable time in America despite the conflicts of the Korean War. Families spent evenings together watching favorite television programs while Matchbox cars and Pez candy dispensers made their debut. As families moved to the suburbs, the need for consumer goods rose and manufacturing was at an all-time high. During this age of growth and innocence, the world was made brighter on July 12, 1952 by the birth of Brenda Graves. Born in Wolf Lake, Indiana, she was the daughter of Junior and Geraldine (Barker) Graves.

At the time of Brendas birth, her father was serving in the U.S. Army during the Korean War, and gratefully returned home to the awaiting arms of his beloved wife and five month old little girl. As the oldest, Brenda was later joined by her younger siblings Rickie, Becky, and Kimberly. The Graves family made their home in the Columbia City area, and by the late 1950s, they moved to South Whitley. Growing up, Brenda attended the local schools and enjoyed playing with her many friends. Always well put together, she was outgoing, social and involved in several clubs at school. From her earliest years, Brenda was very kind and caring. Quite evident in the way she accepted those around her, she had a way of making others feel special and accepted, and it never mattered to her how others viewed them.

During her youth, Brenda portrayed an adventurous side, too. There was a train trestle bridge that crossed high over the creek near their home where Brenda and her friends enjoyed the rush of crossing. They also enjoyed the rush of their parents not knowing, until Brenda fell in the creek. Not wanting her mom to know, they went to a friends house to clean up. The girls thought if they simply dried Brendas clothes, her mom would never know. It would have been a good plan except even though the clothes were dry, the stench of the creek gave them away. Of course, her mother soon discovered what happened and she wasnt too happy with Brenda, either!

Another day while taking her younger sister with her, they almost neared the half way point of the trestle when the trains whistle could clearly be heard. Needing to make a quick decision to either continue, or turn around and run back to the other side, then leap out of the way, they decided to run toward the train. They made it safely and her sister never went on the trestle again. Brenda, however, was back for another adventure the next day.

In her sophomore year, Brenda was asked to the prom by a handsome, young junior named Jerry Shilling. They began a dating relationship, and little did she know at the time, but he would come to be the man she would spend her life with. Having been a year older than Brenda, after Jerry graduated he spent time in an exchange program in Australia. Throughout this time, Brenda went on to graduate from South Whitley High School with the Class of 1970 and had moved to Philadelphia. The two drifted apart, but after returning to the states, Jerry was certain Brenda was the one for him.

After reconnecting, Brenda and Jerry fell deeply in love and soon began planning for their future. On March 1, 1975, she married her high school sweetheart and could not have been happier. Brenda went to work at Lincoln National Life until they began a family of their own with the birth of their daughter, Jodi. Two years later Justin came along and completed their family. Brendas children were her pride and joy. She made a good home for Jerry and the kids, and loved raising her family.

As her children became toddlers, Brenda played a large role in helping and supporting her husband and his brother in their new business venture, which would become Wabash Valley Manufacturing. They worked out of their home and even had a business phone that rang into the house. Brenda enjoyed answering the phone as the companys secretary. In time she began working on the sales side of the family business, and when the business sold, Brenda retired in 2000.

Brenda was the anchor with whom her family could depend. She was very supportive of her husband and children, and never ceased in being there for them. Whenever they faced a challenge or pondered decisions, Brenda was there by their sides with loving guidance.

She was integral in helping Jodi get a college scholarship to Oklahoma City University, and encouraged her to take her talent of dancing and acting on to New York City. She helped with her move and getting her settled. Brenda was also the one to encourage and help her daughter make her next move to Los Angeles, California to pursue her acting career and open her own dance studio. Brenda never knew how talented and creative she was until offering to design and make costumes for the kids at her daughters dance studio. She made some very elaborate pieces, and taking great pride in them and her daughter, she never missed a performance.

Brenda was very proud of her son, Justin. She cheered him on at his basketball, baseball, and football games throughout his school years. She especially enjoyed watching him with his band, Moonshine Alibi. But above all else, she beamed with pride as she witnessed him become a wonderful husband and loving and doting father. No matter where life took him, Brenda was always encouraging him to do his best.

Brenda loved to travel, frequently traveling to see her daughter. She and Jerry also enjoyed two trips to Australia. On one trip, Jerry showed Brenda where he stayed as an exchange student, visiting the family that took him in. They never forgot Jerry, or the phone bill they later received one time after Jerry had been down in the pub they owned and made an international call to Brenda in the U.S. while she was in class her senior year!

They also traveled with the International Palm Society, visiting Thailand and Singapore, and enjoyed several cruises. After retiring, Brenda was ecstatic to finally realize her dream house where she loved having her family gather. She and Jerry loved their home on Dewart Lake and with her gracious hospitality; they enjoyed hosting what they came to call the Lake Days. In the winter months, she and Jerry enjoyed spending time at their home in the Florida Keys.

Always active, along with traveling, Brenda enjoyed socializing and spending time with her family. She absolutely adored her two grandchildren and was excited to meet her newest granddaughter set to arrive in a couple of months. Brenda had a gift for giving, whether to family, friend, or stranger. Without ever wanting any recognition, it was her hearts desire to help others. At Christmastime she loved adopting families to make their holidays brighter, and when she gave, she gave her all. She believed in paying it forward, and was exceptional when it came to making others feel loved, worthy, and special.

Throughout lifes blessings and trials, Brendas faith stood firm. As a woman of faith, Brenda began each morning reading her Bible and listening to Christian music. She attended Joyce Meyers Womens Conferences where she received much inspiration, and she was involved with prayer groups and enjoyed listening to Warsaw Community Church services when homebound. When Brenda was diagnosed with cancer in July of 2014, she fought hard and clung to her faith. A gracious man in Germany was the only stem cell donor found that matched her in the worldwide donor network. With his anonymous love and donation, Brenda was given the gift of living longer, allowing her to spend more time with her family for which they are grateful.

With her genuine smile and laughter, Brendas positive attitude and unending support was a blessing to all who knew and loved her. She didnt possess a mean bone in her body, and in all ways she exemplified a giving and loving heart. She will be lovingly remembered for her heart of gold, and for all she was and will continue to be in the memories she leaves behind.

Brenda Shilling, 63, of Syracuse, Indiana passed away at 2:12 p.m. Friday, November 13, 2015 at MD Anderson Cancer Center, Houston, Texas. Survivors include her husband of 40 years, Jerry Shilling; daughter, Jodi (Shon Little) Shilling of Los Angeles, California; son, Justin (Danielle) Shilling of Warsaw; mother, Geraldine Graves of South Whitley; sisters, Becky (Junior) Martin of Claypool and Kim (Scott) Brown of Warsaw; two grandchildren, Emma Shilling and Pixie Little, along with one more on the way, Whimsy Little; brother-in-law, Mike (Kathy) Shilling of North Webster; and several nieces and nephews. She was preceded in death by her father, Junior Graves on October 30, 2015; her infant granddaughter, Daisy Little in 2012; a nephew, Kameron Brown in 2003; and her brother, Rick Graves in 1980.

Visitation will be held on Friday, November 20, 2015 from 2 to 8 p.m. at DeMoney-Grimes, a Life Story Funeral Home, 600 Countryside Drive, Columbia City. Funeral services will be at 10 a.m. Saturday at the funeral home. Burial will follow at South Whitley Cemetery. Memorial donations may be made in Brendas honor to the Little Daisy Fund, www.littledaisy.org . To send her family condolences and to share a favorite memory of Brenda, please visit www.demoneygrimes.com .